Dysphoria
by cathmaster
Summary: Roxas has a secret. But so does Axel. It's going to be a long summer. FTM!Roxas. AkuRoku. Rated T for now.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: ** I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

**Chapter Warning: **Violence.

**Chapter One**

Roxas was so glad when the last bell of the school year rang. It meant he was free, free from all of the name-calliing, being shoved into lockers, and overall harrasment and torture.

But he knew Seifer would get one last kick out of him before he could joyfully leave the school building.

As he was walking out of class-more like being pushed and shoved instead of actually walking out of the classroom- Roxas had a surprise waiting for him at his locker.

Seifer Strife.

He morbidly knew something was going to happen before he even approached his locker. Something always did happen.

But he had to get all of his things before he finally left for summer break. This event was inevitable.

Everything about his life was inevitable. He knew everyday what was to come within the next day, and the day after that.

Roxas Hikari was set out for a life of punishment and pain. All for being himself.

As he approached the red and grey wall of lockers, he panicked. What was Seifer to do this time? It had to be something more extreme than all of the other incidents, since it was the last day of school.

And he was right.

Before he could even get the combination on his lock down, Seifer came up behind him and bashed his head into the steel. Roxas fell to the ground, tears forming in his eyes. But he knew very well to not scream or shout, to resist, for that just provoked his attacker more.

Seifer then proceeded to kick him in the head, hard, and several times. Then he kicked him in the stomach, then in the head some more. Finally, after being called a dyke and a tranny so many times, Seifer stopped, and walked away.

Roxas could hardly stand up. His vision was blurred, everything around him seemed to spin and tilt. He felt naseous, and wanted to vomit his guts out. He wanted to just sit down and cry his eyes out. But he was a guy, right? Guys don't do things like that?

Roxas hated himself. So so much.

Eventually, he made his way outside, where his best friends Hayner, Pence, and Olette where waiting. They ran over to him with worried-stricken faces.

"Roxas, what happened? Are you okay?" Hayner asked, putting a hand on Roxas' shoulder.

"I'll...be fine." He managed to put a small smile on his face.

"Do you need to go to a hospital?" Pence asked the young blonde.

"Seriously, I'll be fine. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Let's just go to the Usual Spot, okay?" Roxas demanded. He didn't want anyone to worry about him. It was just a waste of time.

His friends decided to listen to him. Now that it was summer, nothing like this would happen for the next few months. Right? They could all just relax and have fun, maybe even go to the beach. They had been wanting to do that for a while, and it would be nice to get away.

Once they arrived at the Usual Spot, something didn't seem quite right. Like there was something Roxas had to do, or someone to meet.

"Hey, you guys go on without me. I'm feeling really tired anyways." But really he wanted to see what was about to happen, if anything.

"Okay, we'll see you later. Be safe, okay?" And with that, he walked off in the direction to his house, past all of the shops.

Once Roxas passed the Moogle Cafe, something caught his attention.

There was a very tall, lanky guy with spiky fire-red hair. And those eyes. They shined as bright as a glimmering green sea, or like bright emeralds. But they were amazing. And under each eye he had upside-down, purple triangle tattoos. Huh. And he was all dressed in black. Black leather jacket, black ripped-skinny jeans, black Doc Martens. But it was summer out. How could he survive in the heat?

Roxas wanted to get to know him, but he was _very_ socially awkward. How was he suppose to approach this interesting-looking man? Interesting-looking, to say the least.

Roxas approached the Cafe, the door making a ringing noise as he opened it. He sat down at a nearby table, waiting for the spiky red haired dude to sit down somewhere near him. Then he would get up and introduce himself.

If only it were that simple.

The said man eventually got his order and sat at a booth by a window. Roxas followed him. This wasn't like him, though. But he really, really wanted to get to know this guy. Just by his appearance was he interesting. And also _very_ attractive.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked.

"Sure, go right ahead." The red head took a bite of his sandwhich.

"What's your name?" Roxas asked. He hated he had to ask so many questions before he got to know the guy. But a name was very important.

"Axel. What about you?"

"My name's Roxas." At this, he smiled. He loved his name. He got to pick it out himself. It fit him, his personality.

Axel smirked, "Haha, alright, _Roxie_."

No, anything but that. He hated that name. He dread it.

"Um, it's Roxas." He corrected Axel.

"I like Roxie better." Axel still had that smirk on his face.

But that smirk, Roxas liked it. It was enticing in a way. It made him want to get to know this person better. He didn't want him to be a stranger.

"What if I called you Ax?" He asked, wanting to give him a nickname, just like he had given him a nickname.

"My name's Axel, kid." Kid? Who did this guy this he was?

"Heh, don't call me that." Roxas glared.

"I'll call you whatever I want, Roxie." He stated.

"Man, you have a lot of balls for just meeting me." Roxas also stated.

"Hey, you're the one who came over here." Axel went back and forth.

"That's because I think you're an interesting person."

"Interesting? You don't know the half of it, kid." Axel took another bite of his sandwhich.

"Then maybe we should get to know each other." Roxas declared.

"Maybe we should. Here's my number," Axel got out a pen and a piece of paper out of his deep pockets, and scribbled down digits, hardly legible, "Call me sometime." And with that, he got up and left.

Roxas blushed, imagining all the possible wonders him and Axel could have together.

It would be a long summer.

**A/N: **Sorry this chapter is so short, but I will be updating often. Reviews would be awesome!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: ** I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**A/N: **To be honest, I am kind of disappointed with the first chapter. Hope this makes up for it!

**Chapter Two**

A few days after Roxas had met the interesting man, he stared intently at the piece of paper Axel had given him, the one with his phone number scribbled illegibly, deciding wether or not to call.

If he did call, and Axel didn't pick up, that would be kind of embarrasing.

And if he called and Axel did pick up, but Roxas didn't know what to say, that would be even more embarrasing.

And if he called and knew what to say-maybe they should hang out again sometime- but Axel couldn't, then he would kind of just be wasting his time.

For some reason, this took a lot of planning.

Maybe he should consult his best friends first.

As they hung out at the Usual Spot, the summer heat wafting in, eating their Sea Salt Ice Cream, Roxas explained what had happened.

"If you like him so much, then just give him a call." Hayner concluded.

"It's worth a shot," Pence added, "Something big could come out of it. Like a summer fling, or something."

Psh, summer fling? Roxas wasn't really looking for that.

Or maybe...

Nah, he couldn't. He didn't want Axel to know.

He knew that Axel would find out eventually, if things got serious. But if things weren't gonna get serious, then why tell him? It wouldn't be like he was lying to him or anything.

Roxas put too much thought into it. He did just meet the guy, after all.

"Summer _is_ the best time to...how shall I say...get to know someone new? All there is is free time." Olette pointed out.

"And if you're worried he's gonna find out about you being trans, don't sweat it. If he's worth it, he won't care." Hayner philosiphised, Pence smiling.

"Yeah, you guys are right," Roxas sighed, "Maybe I should give him a call."

Roxas pulled out his cell phone, his fingers clammy as he dialed the ten-digit number. Why was he so nervous? Probably because his voice sounded even _more_ girlier over the phone. He hated his voice, dreaded it.

Ring...ring...ri-

_"Yo, this is Axel."_

"Uh, hi...It's Roxas."

_"Oh, hey Roxie! I was wondering when you'd call."_

Roxas cringed at the girly nickname, "Uh, yeah...Are you doing anything today?"

_"No, I'm not. Wanna go do something?"_

"Uh, like a date?" Hayner,Pence, and Olette smiled, proud of themselves for persuading their friend into calling him. But Roxas face palmed at the fact that he kept saying "uh" at the begining of every sentence.

_"If you wanna call it that,"_ the red head chuckled.

"It's a date then." Roxas smiled, butterflies in his stomach. He hadn't felt like that in so long. Ever since...

_"I'll pick you up at six then, kay?" _

"Alright, see you then." Said blonde hung up phone.

"So, what are you two gonna do tonight?" Hayner winked, causing Roxas to punch his shoulder.

"Ouch, that hurt!" Hayner laughed.

"It's not like that. I hardly even know the guy." Roxas laughed lightly.

"Maybe it will be like that soon." Pence wondered. Roxas wondered, too. But he really didn't want to rush things. From personal experience, he knew it just made things worse.

"Why are you guys so concerned about what happens?" Roxas asked, "It's really not a big deal."

"We just want you to be happy, Rox." Olette spoke for everyone. Not like he needed another person to be happy.

Or maybe he did.

Eventually, it was six o'clock. Axel called him, to tell him that he was waiting for him.

"I gotta go guys. See ya tomorrow." He told everyone. He exited the Usual Spot, where Axel was waiting for him on his jet black motorcycle.

"Fancy ride," Roxas gulped. He had never been on a motorcycle before. It made him quite nervous.

"Hop right on, cutie." Roxas rolled his eyes, even though it was a compliment. Cutie was too _girly_.

Axel handed him an also jet black helmet, with flame decals. Axel wore the same thing. They both had matching helmets.

Roxas put it on as his date- he liked the way that sounded- revved the engine.

Roxas put his arms around Axels slender waist. He noticed that his hips protruded compared to his waist. It was kind of hot. And he liked the way his arms felt around the older mans waist. If he was older. He barely knew him, but now was his chance.

The breeze blew against them as the red head sped across town- past the Sandlot, past the shops, past the abandoned mansion and Twilight Town High.

Roxas leaned his head against Axel's back. He could feel his spine, the back of his rib cage. In a way, it was kind of comforting for the younger one. He could feel him as a whole.

Finally, they reached a park.

Axel pulled into a parking space, taking his helmet off, whipping back his red mane. He took Roxas' helmet off too, fingering the blonde locks, massaging his scalp, causing Roxas to blush.

They walked towards a bench, taking a seat next to each other.

"So, tell me about yourself, Roxie." He really wished he would stop calling him that.

"Well, let's see. My name's Roxas Hikaru, I'm 17, about to be a senior at Twilight Town High. I recently got a summer job helping out the old lady at the candy store, so hopefully I'll be able to go to the beach this summer. I love the beach. And my friends. I like to write, and read. There's really not much I can think of. What about you?" Roxas asked.

"Name's Axel. Axel Flame. I'm 20, out of school. I don't have a job, yet. I kind of come from a wealthy family."

At this, Roxas thought of his family. He didn't really have one. He was an only child, and his parents kept their distance from him. They didn't approve of his lifestyle, accept him as their son.

Axel continued, "In my free time, which I have a lot of, I like to travel. I also love the beach, and riding my motorcycle. And sex, sex is good too."

Roxas blushed. He had never had sex before. He was too dysphoric to let anyone see him without any clothes.

"You seem like the type of person that does get around," Roxas smirked.

"Why do you say that? Is it because I'm super attractive?" Axel grinned.

Roxas blushed. He did find the man attractive. And interesting, entertaining.

"Well, I think you're pretty attractive yourself," Axel Flame informed.

"Really, is that so? Same goes to you, I mean." Roxas didn't really know what to say. He wasn't good with conversation. He looked away, blushing too hard.

"Roxas, look at me." Axel lightly grabbed his chin, turning the blonde's head so they were staring into each others eyes.

Axel leaned in, and kissed him.

Actually kissed him.

This was one hell of a date.

**A/N: **Heh, hope you enjoyed Chapter Two. Review review review!


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